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shake ya butthole, make it flap
lemme squeeze out your butt hole sap
wiggle your butthole, give it a wink
hey girl show me your butt hole!
salt and pepper your butt hole
put chili powder on your vag.
sprinkle Old Bay on your fish taco
onion salt your ass crack every day!
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2. |
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Edward Penisfingers
He's got dicks instead of fingers, but he's only got one sack of balls.
When he gets a boner, it'z 11x as awkward.
When he points at someone it's indecent exposure.
when he gives a peace sign it's indecent exposure.
when he shakes your hand he gets a free handjob.
it's just like edward scissorhands but he's got dicks instead of fingers. he never got to have a thumb war.
a papercut hurts way more than usual.
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3. |
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4. |
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no that's not a typo -- im talking about by grilled dick
rub it with some honey, rub it on your cunny
throw it on the BBQ and let my dick cook
enjoy it with jarritos
enjoy a grilled shlong burrito
you can't spell cumin without cum
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5. |
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i jacked off on the ferris wheel cuz i like the way it feels
florida is the penis state, and my penis is feeling great.
im stroking it at a vigorous rate to produce copious amounts of semen
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6. |
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Panther attack!
He can smell your butt crack. He can hear you talking smack. He's chewing in your nutsack!
He's sneaking up on you from behind. He's probably going to rip out your spine. He's going to shove your spine up your dick hole.
He'll fart in your face while he's eating you. He'll digest your dick and shit it back in your mouth and make you eat it. The only way to stop a panther is to let him smoke some weed -- unless he gets the munchies and he eats you anyway.
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7. |
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I had a turd and it sure wasn't dinky,
i took a shit on top of the stairs and watched it roll down like a slinky
grandma saw me do it, my uncle saw me poo it,
i dont know how i grew it so big
easter was never the same again
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8. |
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Hey Ms. Eel, let's go out for some sausage tonight.
I hope you don't mind if i leave my pants behind.
I tried to throw you a sausage fest, you bit off my dick
and took it to your nest.
Emma the eel, how's my dick feel in your mouth?
You bit off my dick and swallowed it raw.
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9. |
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Sucking on my dick all day, that's what you should be doing OK?
I'm getting kind of hungry -- why dont you make me a pie?
Give me a BJ.
i'd like to know what your butt hole feels like.
what's your poo schedule like?
I dont want to squirm with a log
my dick is kind of a bed hog
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10. |
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Horse penis!
yank it for some salty lemonade!
jack him off!
suck that horse dick off!
lick his butthole!
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11. |
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I was taking a piss inside a beehive, there was nowhere else to go. I was pissing with a boner so it was coming out real slow.
i guess the bees were bothered with the salty smell of my piss...the queen flew up my dickhole while the rest of them stung the shit out of my dick.
the attack was completely uncalled for, i had come in peace. so i started wacking them with my dick and i killed the whole damn hive. then a grizzly bear licked my dick clean.
now whenever i tried to jizz i squirt out honey and bees. a killer bee laid it's god damn eggs in my nutsack!
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12. |
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...We were sitting around listening to Cake...
...We torched 'em...
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13. |
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I farted in Norway. My anus melted the snow. My butthole quivered in the cold.
A wolf must have smelled my musk, cuz he started sniffing my ass and licking my butthole right on the hole, touching my butthole with his cold nose.
I farted in his mouth and filled him full of gas.
I'd twice now farted in Norway, I had one more to go. If you fart three times in Norway, they cut off your dick.
I shouldn't have eaten those eggs, they always make me fart all day. I blew a blast out of my ass and farted Norway away. I didn't have to get my dick chopped off so i went home and i jacked my dick off.
I LOVE JACKING OFF
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released February 21, 2011
